Adoption Fundraiser #1: Garage Sale

Wanted…

USED ITEMS

Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale

Cleaning out the playroom?  Garage?  Closet?  Why not donate the stuff you no longer want to our Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale.

Sellable items can be dropped off.  If you have furniture or other large items, please  arrange for possible pickup. 

Donations being taken through the end of August…

Contact Erin or Tim

Bringing Baby Home

“The cost of adoption should never stand in the way of giving a child a family.”

—Julie Gumm

Dear Friends and Family,

This is the start of your sweet little story, the part where your page meets mine.  No matter where your tale takes you, tomorrow our story will always read love…

I’m sure it doesn’t come as a surprise to many of you that Tim and I have been trying to add a member to our family for several years now.  After undergoing several tense years of trying…and succeeding…and failing to maintain a pregnancy, we were finally blessed with a beautiful miracle, our daughter Molly.  She was, and is, the shining star that we reached for and we are forever blessed by God to be her parents.  Sadly, our journey with infertility did not end with her birth and we subsequently lost two pregnancies, the final one in February of 2012.  It was then that God decided that our journey of pain and loss would come to an end…and the journey toward our adoption would begin.

After attending several information sessions of adoption agencies in the Western New York area, we finally selected an agency out of Rochester to work with, Bethany Christian Services (www.bethany.org). 

Working with our social worker has been a wonderful part of our journey.  It was really important to us to have a personal connection in this process so as not to seem as if we were simply “buying a baby,” but rather building a family.  After several months of filling out huge amounts of paperwork, traveling to Rochester for interviews, and taking online courses on the adoption process, we were finally able to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that we had done all that we could in the process of finding our adopted child and we started turning our attention to the end result…finding the money that it will take to bring him/her home.

In December 2010 we were proud graduates of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, a course designed to rid the American public of unnecessary financial debt.  Within two years, after paying our last car payment, we were able to claim that we were debt free (with the exception of our mortgage).  This was a huge accomplishment for us, not just to be rid of the burden of debt, but also to truly understand, and apply God’s purpose for us as a family, not letting money dictate our happiness.

But herein lies our biggest question that we asked ourselves when considering adoption:  “God knows about our commitment to live debt free.  So why would He ask us to adopt and then make debt part of that process?”  To date, we have incurred $10,869 toward applicable fees related to the adoption and, through it all; God has provided just what we needed.  When our adoption becomes finalized, we will be expected to owe the agency another $12,400 (not including legal fees or interstate fees*).  We have trusted God completely in this journey, not only in choosing adoption for our family, but with the agency selection, and providing the funds that we have spent thus far.

We have several fundraising goals to help us with the remaining costs associated with the adoption including, but not limited to:  direct sales, a garage sale, a photography event, karaoke, dinner and a silent auction.  We trust that God will provide the funds needed to complete this adoption and one way may be through people like you.  We are asking friends and loved ones, if you are able, to help defer the cost of the adoption by making a donation at our adoption blog:  Love Grows In the Heart (http://lovegrowsintheheart.blogspot.com/).  Take a moment to visit our blog; you can make a donation right now with a credit card or pay pal account.  With every donation that we receive, that name will be written on the back of a puzzle piece.  When the puzzle is complete, we will send you a photo of the completed puzzle as a keepsake. 

“You are not raising money to add a child to your family;

you are raising money to give a child a family.”—Adopt Without Debt

We cannot wait to bring our child home, to hold him/her in our arms, and always provide a hand for them to hold as they grow. No words can capture the true joy and excitement we feel as we anticipate the blessing of his/her presence in our home.

If you are unable to donate to our adoption, please know that we understand.  We hope that you will continue to pray for our family’s journey.  Please contact us if you have any questions, need alternative methods of contribution, or would just like to chat. We would absolutely love to hear from each and every one of you!

Thank you for taking the time to let us share our journey with you.

Sincerely,

Tim & Erin

“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,                               you did for Me.” – Matthew 25:40

We're on You Tube!

I guess that we have officially entered into the "techie" generation by posting a video on you tube.  You can check it out at:  A Waiting Family Looks To Adopt

or view it here:

Blessings

Our last adoption meeting in Rochester was probably our most intense.  We spoke with our social worker on various topics that also included resolutions on my health.  Thankfully the two concerns I have had have been gracefully and mercifully forgiven.  Tim and I both continue to feel that God is leading us in the right direction.

I've already started to lose weight, which is already alleviating some of my health concerns, but I have to admit that it isn't easy.  Spending years being "addicted" to food as a source of comfort has really hurt me...in more ways than one.  But I am determined to continue on my quest for the sake of my family...and my life.

I have also finished reading Adopted for Life and have begun our last adoption book:  Adopt Without Debt by Julie Gumm (a link to her blog is provided to the right).  In it she outlines so beautifully what Tim and I were so grateful to hear:  (1) that you can afford adoption without going into debt and (2) that if you are being called by God to adopt, He will provide the means necessary to do so.  As followers (and graduates) of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, Tim and I are happy to say that we are debt free (not including our mortgage...that debt still stands), and we're hoping to not incur any debt to make the dream of growing our family a reality.  We are both so happy to have found this book and with Julie's guidance, and our hard work, I truly believe that we will succeed.

As for the next step in our adoption...we have begun working on our profile.  It isn't anywhere near completion, but I am excited about the endeavor.  I've actually already started collecting photos and have even put together an informal slide show titled "Our Family."  (see previous post)  I look forward to posting the results of our profile that people may view and share as they are able.  Thank you to those of you that are continuing to pray for our family.

Two Wrongs...And A Right

Recently I received an email from the director of the agency that we initially chose to proceed with our adoption...(yes,the one that we broke up with).  It seems that after six months of silence she was finally getting back to us to answer any questions or concerns that we had about their agency and the adoption process.  Tim and I both thought..."Hmm...how kind of them to express an interest in us."  (No, not really).  Given how emotional I was, I thought it best that Tim draft a response that was more matter-of-fact and to the point.  The day in which the reply was sent, I received a phone call from her almost immediately.

It was a pleasant phone call in which we discussed their lack-of-communication and personal relationship missteps and she assured me that the matter would be addressed for future applicants (hopefully).  Our bond was mended with an apology and the door was left open should we want to inquire about adoptions with their agency in the future.

The last bit of bad news has to do with me, personally.  As we are still undergoing the home study process, information is being sent out and received on a fairly regular basis.  I wasn't expecting to receive a letter from my doctor's office about my cholesterol though.  I've known that it has been in the "high" range ever since I was in my 20's (Hint:  I'm not in my 20's anymore).  And as my weight has fluctuated, so have my cholesterol numbers.  Needless to say, they aren't pretty.  But then again, neither is my relationship with food.  I've been meaning to make some serious changes regarding my (fatty and sugary) diet and (lack of) exercise and I guess that this news has caused me to take more action than I have in the last decade and here is where I need your prayers.  I have always had a wonderful relationship with food.  A mutual love for one another you might say.  But if food could possibly get in the way of adopting a child* well, then, I think that the relationship needs to come to an end.  Not entirely, of course...but more of a healthy change.  Me eating only the good healthy stuff...and the fatty and sugary "yummy" stuff taking an extend vacation.  Like...forever.

*Our third appointment with Bethany is on Wednesday which should hopefully bring us all some piece of mind.

Openness

Tim and I recently finished our first online adoption course entitled Open Adoption 101.  It was a very well organized course which goes more in-depth about the very sensitive issue of openness in domestic adoption.

"Openness gives children the gifts of possibilities, for now and for the future.  It is not a cure-all, but it creates the possibility for a stronger sense of purpose in identity."  

The idea of openness is a child-centered focus involving honest communication, empathy, relationships, boundaries, and flexibility.

In addition, shortly after the course, I was able to meet with Colleen, a new adoptive mom who recently had a successful experience in adopting her daughter through Bethany Christian Services.  Meeting Colleen was like a breath of fresh air...we both had similar experiences in the journey of choosing an agency, and similar views on the adoption journey itself.  In meeting my new friend, I felt a renewed spirit that Tim and I are on the right course for us and I look forward to learning and growing more as a family.

Reading IS Power :)

Life has been very busy lately and I have been feeling very disconnected from the world.  A lasting illness in the family can do that, I guess.  'Cause you to become a hermit...in your own bubble...and I don't like it!!  Thankfully, it appears that the Reukaufs are turning a corner, and with the ushering in of Spring and warmer weather, we will hopefully all stay healthy for a while.

In my sickness, however, I have been able to catch up on some reading.  I've been enjoying reading the book "Adopted For Life" by Russell D. Moore.  I am only half way through the book, but an interesting thing happened when I reached the chapter titled Don't You Want Your Own Kids?  How to know if you--or someone you love--should consider adoption.  Crazy title, I know.  Kinda hits you right in the face, but it's not as jarring as you might think.  Anyway, the interesting thing was that I couldn't stop underlining his words.  There was virtually nothing until I reached page 86 and then it felt as if my pen was going to run out of ink!  I felt like he was writing this section just for me.  Here's what I mean:

Biblical imagery of Rachel weeping for her children "because they are no more"

Listening to the song "Thought You'd Be Here" by the artist Wes King

"Do you want most of all to be parents, or do you want most of all to be conservators of your genetic material?"

"If you're infertile...the first thing you should know is that the sadness you feel is normal.  In fact, it's holy...God is not punishing you...As Jesus tells his disciples, the horrible circumstances that happen to people in this life aren't a one-to-one retaliation for sin."

Hannah was "deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.  Hannah, along with a host of other childless families in Scripture, is sad, and such sadness isn't wrong."

And here's where I REALLY sat up and paid attention...

"Infertility isn't hopeless, but it's dangerous.  Remember that your life is being lived out in a world that's more that what you can see...You bear the image of God, you resemble Jesus, and so you are a target for demonic principalities and powers who seek to turn your affections away from your Lord.  It's easy to become bitter, envious, and covetous when you want children and fear you can't have them...You can easily shut down your emotional life as much as possible, numbing yourself to keep from getting hurt further.  If you find yourself mistrusting God's goodness to you or caving introspectively in on yourself or unable to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep, recognize what's happening--and that it isn't good."

And here is where the past four to six years of my life have been.  Wasted on emotions and feelings of hurt and bitterness, sorrow and anger, manifesting like a toxin in my life and in my relationships.  And this is why I need to apologize.  To any of my dear friends whom I may have offended by my inability to be joyously elated over their pregnancy news, I am deeply sorry.  My life circumstance has no impact on what the future may or may not hold of your own individual dreams of growing your families.  Nor does my infertility and pregnancy loss impact my own desires to have more children.

I know that when the future brings a newly adopted son or daughter into our family, I will continue to ask all of you for your continued thoughts and prayers as I struggle with "letting go" less and less.  Our newest member to our family will not erase the infertile hole that has been left in our hearts, but I am hoping that through God's grace and mercy, I will love this child as if I had carried and birthed them myself.

Thought You'd Be Here 

by Wes King*

We thought you’d be here by now

Your mother and I

We’re praying through our tears that somehow

We might hear your sweet cry

Have we waited too long?

It’s getting harder to be strong

Is there something we’ve done wrong

But if you like dancing

I'll make it rain rhythm, and rhyme, and melodies, child

And if you like dreaming

Your mother will make your imagination run wild

Somehow, we thought you’d be here by now

We have a room just for you upstairs

It’s right down the hall

So we’ll be close should you ever get scared

We’ll come when you call

It’s a room full of stories

Waiting to be told

Longing to behold

And if you like laughing

I’ll paint you a circus of smiles and Ferris wheels, dear

And if you like living

Your mother will fly you to worlds both far and near

Somehow...

I never knew the silence could make me so deaf

I never knew that I could miss someone I’ve never met

Miss someone I haven’t met yet

We’ll be waiting

*I'm kinda hoping my dear friend, Catherine, will record this for me someday.