After returning from Rochester and picking Molly up from Grandma and Grandpa's house, we were nearing home when Tim's cell phone began to ring. On the other end was Jennifer, the social worker who was present at our meeting just a few hours ago. She said that she had Phil and Nicole there and that they wanted to talk to us. My heart was beating so rapidly with anticipation and excitement that it was all I could do to maintain my attention to the remaining miles toward home. After a poor connection caused them to replace the call, we were pulling into our garage when we were asked one of the most wonderful questions in the world: "would you parent our daughter?" I don't remember who spoke our reply, but inside I was screaming "YES!" At one point I remember telling them that it would be an honor and a blessing. And once the information was communicated to our eager four-year old in the backseat, Molly chimed in with a resounding "Thank You!"
I don't know how you continue about your business after receiving a phone call like that. I felt like I was floating through time and space. I know at some point we had dinner...but I also remember that after Tim left for Mission that night, I proceeded to do something with Molly that I am really good at. Shopping.
It was really late mind you for her to be out and about with me, but I made an exception, considering the rare occasion of our circumstances. We had a new baby to prepare for!! The room itself was mostly ready as we were beginning the transition to a nursery in hopeful anticipation for the arrival of our second child. We were simply shopping for a few necessary items...formula, diapers, a new outfit for the baby, a "big sister" gift for Molly, and a gift for each of the birthparents. After narrowing down our outfit choices from Molly's exuberant ten, selecting a new baby for Molly that goes poo and pee on the potty, I turned my attention to selecting a thoughtful gift for Phil and Nicole.
What exactly do you get for the birthparents of your new baby?! When it's 8:00 pm on a Sunday night? And you have a narrow window to complete your errand before your overtired four-year old child has a meltdown?
Browsing in the jewelry department, I was thinking of a necklace or bracelet for Nicole when something caught my eye. It was a display of bracelets that each had a different meaning. One in particular had an "infinity" symbol (think of an 8 turned on its side). I though it the perfect connection between our two families as we believed and hoped that Phil and Nicole would "always" be a part of our daughter's life. The purchase was further solidified when I found a delicate infinity necklace perfect for her birthmother.
That evening after putting Molly to bed, and preparing for the activity of the following day, I relished the thought that this would be our last night as a family of three. We had waited almost five years to grow our family and our moment had finally arrived. I was so anxious with anticipation that I found it hard to sleep that night, but I eventually drifted off to sleep with the love of my life beside me, and one miraculous gift from God sleeping peacefully in the next room. I became enveloped by the peace of knowing that this would be the last evening that the nursery would be empty. Tomorrow, our hope, our journey, and our family would be one step closer to completion.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
The Interview Of A Lifetime
I was getting ready to go to mass as is the case for most Sunday mornings. Only this was not your typical Sunday morning. We were having a special mass said for Tim's Grandmother, Helen, who passed away a little over a year ago. And immediately following the service, Tim's family was gathering at our house for brunch. The house was bustling with activity and excitement...rare for a Sunday, maybe even for a family gathering. But then again, this wasn't your typical Sunday. There was a good possibility that we would end this day claiming to be parents for the second time. Considering the event that was to take place later that afternoon, we were both remarkably calm.
Calm endured even when our computer stopped working for the third time that weekend. We have had the device since 2011...old for a computer, but still in excellent shape. As an obsessive self-proclaimed neat freak/organizer my entire life was on this beautiful machine. Not to mention a certain document that contained the very questions that we were to ask the birthparents in a possible interview. Not something that I thought I would have needed in an emergent situation. I was happy, however, to give the morning over to God...and to Helen who was happily watching over us.
The mass was lovely, as was the french toast and bacon. And when everyone had their fill of yummy delights, they scooted out so that we could prepare for our travels that afternoon to Rochester. I didn't fret about what to wear to our appointment with the birthparents since I decided to remain in my black dress and hot pink sweater tights from the morning's celebration. I chose the outfit because pink was Helen's favorite color (although I'm sure the word "hot" wasn't usually associated) and the dress simply because it was one of the few items that was clean and hanging in my closet.
Once Tim and I cleaned up from the brunch, we left Molly with Tim's parents and prepared for our journey and our interview with Phil and Nicole. Not having our computer, or our notes for what to ask and not ask during an interview with the birthparents, we were flying un-teathered without any sort of pre-planned preparation, which was surprisingly freeing, even for a control freak such as myself. As Tim drove the distance to Rochester, I opened our travels by praying that God would bless our conversation with the birth parents...that we would ask the right questions...and that He would ultimately guide our discussions. His will be done. God's will isn't something that I easily relinquish to most areas in my life, however this adoption journey has always been something completely out of our control. It felt good to have someone else be in the drivers seat...literally and figuratively. :)
As we walked into our agency's office, we were, again, surprisingly calm. Excited yes, but not nervous. I was so uncharacteristically "at ease" with the impending interview that I can only attribute my feelings and emotions in the moment to God's grace. He alone gave us the strength and courage to carry us through what can only be described as the interview of a lifetime.
I should have anticipated how well we were to enjoy our conversation with the birthparents when Phil opened up by saying, "I'm a little disappointed that you didn't wear your "Cheesy Christmas Sweater" to Tim. After a chuckle, and a small explanation (Tim had created the outfit to win a contest at work...which he did), we dived right into getting to know the couple who sat across from us.
As we were chatting and sharing pleasantries, I couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that the baby's birth family looked like our own. And aside from the birthmother's eye color, we in fact looked like we were related. Our easy-going natures carried the conversation so that the social worker felt as she didn't even need to be there to bridge the conversation. It was as if we had known each other for years.
Of all of the questions asked and answered during our time together, my favorite was when we inquired about the wishes or goals for their baby. They both answered that they wanted their baby to not just survive, but to THRIVE. They wanted to give her a better life than what she would have under their care. They both felt as if that wanted to know themselves before they could impart wisdom to a child.
A few of the criteria for their chosen adoptive family was that they would love their careers, that the baby would be able to grow with a sibling (both birthparents were only children), and they had also hoped to give her to a couple who had a difficult journey in growing their family. Sharing each of our stories, it became clear to me that this child was destined to be ours.
One of my favorite moments when talking with Phil and Nicole that afternoon was when they both shared that they wanted their baby to know that they did not abandon her. They wanted to receive updates, and possibly get together once a year. That made my heart happy. And I felt secure in the knowledge that this baby would be greatly loved.
We left the meeting feeling very happy, unsure of what was to be decided, but at peace with the situation. Fully knowing that what was to come would be in God's very capable hands.
Calm endured even when our computer stopped working for the third time that weekend. We have had the device since 2011...old for a computer, but still in excellent shape. As an obsessive self-proclaimed neat freak/organizer my entire life was on this beautiful machine. Not to mention a certain document that contained the very questions that we were to ask the birthparents in a possible interview. Not something that I thought I would have needed in an emergent situation. I was happy, however, to give the morning over to God...and to Helen who was happily watching over us.
The mass was lovely, as was the french toast and bacon. And when everyone had their fill of yummy delights, they scooted out so that we could prepare for our travels that afternoon to Rochester. I didn't fret about what to wear to our appointment with the birthparents since I decided to remain in my black dress and hot pink sweater tights from the morning's celebration. I chose the outfit because pink was Helen's favorite color (although I'm sure the word "hot" wasn't usually associated) and the dress simply because it was one of the few items that was clean and hanging in my closet.
Once Tim and I cleaned up from the brunch, we left Molly with Tim's parents and prepared for our journey and our interview with Phil and Nicole. Not having our computer, or our notes for what to ask and not ask during an interview with the birthparents, we were flying un-teathered without any sort of pre-planned preparation, which was surprisingly freeing, even for a control freak such as myself. As Tim drove the distance to Rochester, I opened our travels by praying that God would bless our conversation with the birth parents...that we would ask the right questions...and that He would ultimately guide our discussions. His will be done. God's will isn't something that I easily relinquish to most areas in my life, however this adoption journey has always been something completely out of our control. It felt good to have someone else be in the drivers seat...literally and figuratively. :)
As we walked into our agency's office, we were, again, surprisingly calm. Excited yes, but not nervous. I was so uncharacteristically "at ease" with the impending interview that I can only attribute my feelings and emotions in the moment to God's grace. He alone gave us the strength and courage to carry us through what can only be described as the interview of a lifetime.
I should have anticipated how well we were to enjoy our conversation with the birthparents when Phil opened up by saying, "I'm a little disappointed that you didn't wear your "Cheesy Christmas Sweater" to Tim. After a chuckle, and a small explanation (Tim had created the outfit to win a contest at work...which he did), we dived right into getting to know the couple who sat across from us.
As we were chatting and sharing pleasantries, I couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that the baby's birth family looked like our own. And aside from the birthmother's eye color, we in fact looked like we were related. Our easy-going natures carried the conversation so that the social worker felt as she didn't even need to be there to bridge the conversation. It was as if we had known each other for years.
Of all of the questions asked and answered during our time together, my favorite was when we inquired about the wishes or goals for their baby. They both answered that they wanted their baby to not just survive, but to THRIVE. They wanted to give her a better life than what she would have under their care. They both felt as if that wanted to know themselves before they could impart wisdom to a child.
A few of the criteria for their chosen adoptive family was that they would love their careers, that the baby would be able to grow with a sibling (both birthparents were only children), and they had also hoped to give her to a couple who had a difficult journey in growing their family. Sharing each of our stories, it became clear to me that this child was destined to be ours.
One of my favorite moments when talking with Phil and Nicole that afternoon was when they both shared that they wanted their baby to know that they did not abandon her. They wanted to receive updates, and possibly get together once a year. That made my heart happy. And I felt secure in the knowledge that this baby would be greatly loved.
We left the meeting feeling very happy, unsure of what was to be decided, but at peace with the situation. Fully knowing that what was to come would be in God's very capable hands.
 |
| The "Cheesy" Christmas Sweater |
Saturday, April 12, 2014
It's A Girl!
There is no question that I love my "alone" time so it was no surprise that I was cherishing the business of the local Wegmans grocery store one late Saturday afternoon in March. As I was meandering through the aisles, I reflected on the week ahead. I wasn't looking forward to Tim beginning his eight-night Mission experience at our church, leaving Molly and I every evening for over a week, but I knew that with God's strength, and prayer, we would be able to survive.
It wasn't entirely my fault that I was late arriving home that evening...remembering why I don't frequently shop for food on the weekends. So, upon arriving home, I rushed into the house, apologized for being late, and told Tim that he could be on his way while I encouraged my daughter to help me bring in the groceries. I was a little surprised to hear Tim say, however, that "plans have changed."
As I looked at him with a puzzled expression, he continued by saying, "we got a call from Bethany." I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at Tim with a "deer in the headlights" kind of stare...not quite sure what to say next. Finally, I emitted, "What did they say?" whereby my four year old started to say, "let me tell her daddy!" I looked at sweet Molly with a great big smile on her face as she said, "we're going to have a baby!" I looked at Tim...and back at Molly...and then back at Tim again when he said, "well..." And then Molly clarified, "well, we have to meet the birthparents and if they choose us, we're going to get a baby! And if they don't choose us, well then we're not going to get a baby." Pretty simple to comprehend, even for a growing toddler.
I didn't know whether or not to scream, jump up and down or cry, so I did all three. As I brought in the groceries and was putting them away, Tim began to relay the details of the phone call as best as he could remember. Our social worker, Becky, had called to say that a baby girl had been born at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester and the birthmother was looking to place her for adoption. She and the birthfather had selected three couples to interview, and we were among those chosen. We would meet with them the next afternoon. And, as Molly simply stated before, if the birth family chose us, we would be taking the baby home from the hospital.
The baby was born Friday afternoon and was already two days old. I was so excited and nervous, but at the same time, uncharacteristically calm. Tim and I embraced, discussed some of the remaining details of the phone call...information about the birth parents...no prenatal care...young couple in their twenties...birthmom smoked...and as far as the agency knew, the baby girl was healthy. After the groceries were put away and dinner made and eaten, Tim went to Mission that evening at church, and we continued on with our evening's plans as if nothing was different. And nothing really was different...but the possibilities were forever life changing...and beautiful.
It wasn't entirely my fault that I was late arriving home that evening...remembering why I don't frequently shop for food on the weekends. So, upon arriving home, I rushed into the house, apologized for being late, and told Tim that he could be on his way while I encouraged my daughter to help me bring in the groceries. I was a little surprised to hear Tim say, however, that "plans have changed."
As I looked at him with a puzzled expression, he continued by saying, "we got a call from Bethany." I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at Tim with a "deer in the headlights" kind of stare...not quite sure what to say next. Finally, I emitted, "What did they say?" whereby my four year old started to say, "let me tell her daddy!" I looked at sweet Molly with a great big smile on her face as she said, "we're going to have a baby!" I looked at Tim...and back at Molly...and then back at Tim again when he said, "well..." And then Molly clarified, "well, we have to meet the birthparents and if they choose us, we're going to get a baby! And if they don't choose us, well then we're not going to get a baby." Pretty simple to comprehend, even for a growing toddler.
I didn't know whether or not to scream, jump up and down or cry, so I did all three. As I brought in the groceries and was putting them away, Tim began to relay the details of the phone call as best as he could remember. Our social worker, Becky, had called to say that a baby girl had been born at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester and the birthmother was looking to place her for adoption. She and the birthfather had selected three couples to interview, and we were among those chosen. We would meet with them the next afternoon. And, as Molly simply stated before, if the birth family chose us, we would be taking the baby home from the hospital.
The baby was born Friday afternoon and was already two days old. I was so excited and nervous, but at the same time, uncharacteristically calm. Tim and I embraced, discussed some of the remaining details of the phone call...information about the birth parents...no prenatal care...young couple in their twenties...birthmom smoked...and as far as the agency knew, the baby girl was healthy. After the groceries were put away and dinner made and eaten, Tim went to Mission that evening at church, and we continued on with our evening's plans as if nothing was different. And nothing really was different...but the possibilities were forever life changing...and beautiful.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Karaoke Fundraiser Success!!
A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who joined us at Karaoke For A Cause on January 4th at the Coyote Cafe-Hamburg!! Tim and I had such a blast and the night went so much better than I could have ever imagined! All thanks to the many hands that helped to prepare for the event by donating baskets and prizes, setting up for the event, decorating, taking tickets, etc. The event certainly could not have been possible without so many of you helping us out and we appreciate it more than you know. So many of you know how difficult this journey of parenting has been for both Tim and I and we appreciate your love and support in our lives. We are so excited to see what the future holds for our precious adopted child and we know that he or she will be just as loved as our own Miracle Molly.
AND...
Due to all of your overwhelming generosity...
WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL!!! Praise God!!!!
We had so much fun last night too! I look forward to reliving the night through pictures and video for years to come!
AND...
Due to all of your overwhelming generosity...
WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL!!! Praise God!!!!
We had so much fun last night too! I look forward to reliving the night through pictures and video for years to come!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Mark Your Calendar For Our BIG Event!
Karaoke for a Cause
SATURDAY 01.04.14 9pm
COYOTE CAFÉ 36 MAIN STREET HAMBURG
Karaoke-Beer-Food-Basket Raffles-Prizes-50/50
Tickets:
$25 presale - $30 at the door and include FREE tickets for the basket raffle!
For
tickets please contact Tim or Erin
timanderinadopt@gmail.com
You may also purchase tickets at The Coyote Cafe in Hamburg
Proceeds to benefit Tim & Erin’s Adoption Fund
Friday, November 15, 2013
We received our second adoption grant!!
Thank you Show Hope for brightening our day with your letter awarding us $4000 towards our adoption!! What a blessing!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Need a creative/fun gift idea?!
A dear friend is donating her profits from the sale of her home business products toward our adoption!! They are adorable personalized bean bag chairs for your little ones!! Check out her website at www.facebook.com/windownook.
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