The Interview Of A Lifetime

I was getting ready to go to mass as is the case for most Sunday mornings.  Only this was not your typical Sunday morning.  We were having a special mass said for Tim's Grandmother, Helen, who passed away a little over a year ago.  And immediately following the service, Tim's family was gathering at our house for brunch.  The house was bustling with activity and excitement...rare for a Sunday, maybe even for a family gathering.  But then again, this wasn't your typical Sunday.  There was a good possibility that we would end this day claiming to be parents for the second time.  Considering the event that was to take place later that afternoon, we were both remarkably calm.

Calm endured even when our computer stopped working for the third time that weekend.  We have had the device since 2011...old for a computer, but still in excellent shape.  As an obsessive self-proclaimed neat freak/organizer my entire life was on this beautiful machine.  Not to mention a certain document that contained the very questions that we were to ask the birthparents in a possible interview.  Not something that I thought I would have needed in an emergent situation.  I was happy, however, to give the morning over to God...and to Helen who was happily watching over us.

The mass was lovely, as was the french toast and bacon.  And when everyone had their fill of yummy delights, they scooted out so that we could prepare for our travels that afternoon to Rochester.  I didn't fret about what to wear to our appointment with the birthparents since I decided to remain in my black dress and hot pink sweater tights from the morning's celebration.  I chose the outfit because pink was Helen's favorite color (although I'm sure the word "hot" wasn't usually associated) and the dress simply because it was one of the few items that was clean and hanging in my closet.

Once Tim and I cleaned up from the brunch, we left Molly with Tim's parents and prepared for our journey and our interview with Phil and Nicole.  Not having our computer, or our notes for what to ask and not ask during an interview with the birthparents, we were flying un-teathered without any sort of pre-planned preparation, which was surprisingly freeing, even for a control freak such as myself.  As Tim drove the distance to Rochester, I opened our travels by praying that God would bless our conversation with the birth parents...that we would ask the right questions...and that He would ultimately guide our discussions.  His will be done.  God's will isn't something that I easily relinquish to most areas in my life, however this adoption journey has always been something completely out of our control.  It felt good to have someone else be in the drivers seat...literally and figuratively.  :)

As we walked into our agency's office, we were, again, surprisingly calm.  Excited yes, but not nervous.  I was so uncharacteristically "at ease" with the impending interview that I can only attribute my feelings and emotions in the moment to God's grace.  He alone gave us the strength and courage to carry us through what can only be described as the interview of a lifetime.

I should have anticipated how well we were to enjoy our conversation with the birthparents when Phil opened up by saying, "I'm a little disappointed that you didn't wear your "Cheesy Christmas Sweater" to Tim.  After a chuckle, and a small explanation (Tim had created the outfit to win a contest at work...which he did), we dived right into getting to know the couple who sat across from us.

As we were chatting and sharing pleasantries, I couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that the baby's birth family looked like our own.  And aside from the birthmother's eye color, we in fact looked like we were related.  Our easy-going natures carried the conversation so that the social worker felt as she didn't even need to be there to bridge the conversation.  It was as if we had known each other for years.

Of all of the questions asked and answered during our time together, my favorite was when we inquired about the wishes or goals for their baby.  They both answered that they wanted their baby to not just survive, but to THRIVE.  They wanted to give her a better life than what she would have under their care.  They both felt as if that wanted to know themselves before they could impart wisdom to a child.

A few of the criteria for their chosen adoptive family was that they would love their careers, that the baby would be able to grow with a sibling (both birthparents were only children), and they had also hoped to give her to a couple who had a difficult journey in growing their family.  Sharing each of our stories, it became clear to me that this child was destined to be ours.

One of my favorite moments when talking with Phil and Nicole that afternoon was when they both shared that they wanted their baby to know that they did not abandon her.  They wanted to receive updates, and possibly get together once a year.  That made my heart happy.  And I felt secure in the knowledge that this baby would be greatly loved.

We left the meeting feeling very happy, unsure of what was to be decided, but at peace with the situation.  Fully knowing that what was to come would be in God's very capable hands.

The "Cheesy" Christmas Sweater